And so today you are full-fledged ensigns.
Three short months ago you assembled here from all walks of life:
field, factory, office and college campus.
You knew what the fighting was about, or you wouldn't have volunteered.
Each of you knew that the American way of life...
must be defended by life itself.
From here on...
your education must continue in the more demanding school of actual war.
Wearing the gold stripe of ensign in the United States Navy...
you go down to the sea to fight...
in the toughest conflict of all time.
Your fellow Americans share my confidence...
that you'll serve the navy and the country...
with honor and distinction.
Good luck, and good hunting.
Willie! Over here!
- Darling, I'm so proud of you! - Thanks, Mother.
- Congratulations. - Thank you, Uncle Lloyd.
Your mother will tell me if the navy doesn't make use of your abilities.
With the proper approach, I could help you be placed somewhere else.
- Good luck in the meantime. - Thank you.
I'm afraid I'll have to skip your party tonight.
Some of the fellows are having a celebration...
But the party's in your honor.
- Besides, we have so few days left... - But Mother.
Your friends will forgive you. You can call them from the house.
I'll see you at 10:00.
Your eyes of blue,
Your kisses too,
I never knew...
what they could do,
I can't believe that you're in love with me.
You're telling everyone I know,
I'm on your mind each place you go,
They can't believe that you're in love with me.
I have always placed you...
far above me,
I just can't imagine...
that you love me,
And after all is said and done,
To think that I'm the lucky one,
I can't believe that you're in love...
with me.
May!
You were wonderful.
Thanks. I'm surprised your mother let you out.
I had to be with her. I should have told you yesterday I couldn't make it.
- I'm sorry. - Order me a drink, and then we'll fight.
Leo, two Scotch and waters, please.
Let's not spoil the night. I've only a couple days left.
I'm leaving Sunday.
How do you expect me to feel...
leaving me standing there all alone?
Why didn't you introduce me to your mother?
I wanted you to meet her, but there's a time for everything.
I'm sure.
Thank you.
To the most important woman in your life: Mom.
Stop it!
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your big evening.
Guess I just bruise easily.
How should we celebrate?
We can go to the Fairmont, Top Of The Mark... anything you say.
Or we don't have to go to a club.
- Meaning what? - I've only got 48 hours.
Willie, don't.
I love you.
All right. Will you marry me?
- If there were more time... - Don't look so embarrassed.
I didn't expect you to.
I guess I forgot how I was.
- I didn't mean it like that. - Just another nightclub singer...
for a big weekend.
Well, I don't want anymore of it.
- Not another minute! - May!
Good luck, Mr. Keith.
Thanks, George.
Good-bye, Mother.
- Cable when you get to Pearl Harbor. - If I can.
I'm worried. That ship you're assigned to has been in lots of battles.
- Don't worry. - Do you have enough spending money?
- More than enough. - Take this extra $100, dear.
- Please don't cry. - I can't help it.
You're all I have left.
Promise me to be careful.
Don't do anything foolish or dangerous.
I won't.
I promise.
Good-bye, sweetheart.
- Request permission to come on board. - Permission granted.
- Sir, the Caine's a real beauty. - The Caine is the inboard ship.
Crossing over. This way, Keith.
Watch that enthusiasm. Nobody's left that way about the Caine before.
- I'm sorry, sir. I lost my footing. - This is Lieutenant Keefer.
- How about logging him in, Tom? - Your orders.
Those monstrous papers that transform ex-civilians into men without minds.
- I hate to do this to you... - Gangway! Lady with a baby.
Meatball, Horrible! Pick up Mr. Keith's gear in the whaleboat.
Aye, sir.
This is our executive officer, Steve Maryk.
- Glad to have you. - Thank you, sir.
Steve's the guy that gets things done. There's one on every ship.
Very funny. Come on, Keith. Let's meet the captain.
- Watch your feet, sir! - Come on, Keith.
They're making a mistake scraping this ship.
The only thing that's keeping the water out is the rust.
What do you want?
- He's here, sir. - Okay. Bring him in.
In here.
Captain DeVriess, this is Ensign Keith.
May I see your orders and qualifications jacket...
or are they a military secret?
I'm sorry.
"Princeton, '41."'
"Top five percent in midshipman's school."
Pretty good background. Pretty good record.
Disappointed they assigned you to a minesweeper?
Well, sir, to be honest... yes, sir.
You saw yourself on a carrier or battleship, no doubt?
Yes. I had hoped...
Well, I only hope that you're good enough for the Caine.
I'll try to be worthy of this assignment.
She's not a battleship or carrier. She's a beaten-up tub.
After 18 months of combat, it takes 24 hours a day to keep her in once piece.
- I understand. - I don't think you do.
But whether you like it or not, you're in the junkyard navy.
Steve, put him with Keefer in communications, and tell Tom...
to show this Princeton tiger and our other new ensign around the ship.
Yes, sir.
And Keith...
don't take it so hard.
War is hell.
- Ensign Keith, Ensign Harding. - My condolences.
- Thanks. - All right. Let's get with it.
The U.S.S. Caine is a minesweeper. These are paravanes used for mine sweeping.
They carry sweep wires out both sides of the ship.
The wire contacts a mooring cable of a mine and saws it in two.
We've been in combat a year and a half and never been asked to sweep a mine.
The first thing to learn about this ship...
is that she was designed by geniuses to be run by idiots.
This is the engine room. To operate, all you need are well-trained monkeys.
Ninety-nine percent of everything we do is strict routine.
Only one percent requires creative intelligence.
Well, that about does it.
- Any more questions? - Yes, sir.
- Where do we go to surrender? - It's not that easy.
- You don't like the navy? - Who called the Caine the navy?
Gentlemen, just one more thing to do: Climb the mast.
What for? A mast is a mast.
When the captain orders the tour, he means from the keel to the foretop.
That's the foretop.
I have a wife and a kid. I'm very fond of them.
I'll probably never see them again.
Well done!
I'm glad he liked it.
Yeah. Keith? I regret to tell you I'm gonna be sick.
I'm sorry. Height bothers me.
Those poor sailors down there!
I could use my hat, but it's the only one I've got.
I have two others.
- That's darn cordial of you. - Perfectly welcome.
Hey! What's keeping you guys up there? Lunch!
Excuse me, sir.
It's all right.
Tell me. Now that you've had a chance to study the Caine more closely...
do you like her any better?
The tour was very interesting.
The ship too messy for you?
- That's a difficult question. - It's a ridiculous question.
The question is, is this mess a ship?
Very decent of you to join us for lunch, Tom.
I didn't think you could spare the time.
My novel will suffer, but even great literary artists get hungry.
Pull up a chair, and cast some pearls before the swine.
- Or whatever it is you say you do. - I will.
Somebody has to protect these fresh faces from the captain's badgering.
I'm not badgering anyone.
I'm just conducting a one-man board of inquiry. I'm trying to find out...
if Ensign Keith wants to stay on board.
There is no escape, save death.
We are all doing penance. Sentenced to an outcast ship...
manned by outcasts and named after the greatest outcast of them all.
Here we go again.
- I'm merely stating fact. - He's right.
I've been sweating it out myself for over two years...
waiting to be relieved of command, and there's no sign of it yet.
But then I don't have Ensign Keith's influence.
Sir, I don't understand.
I received this dispatch from Admiral Walsh about an hour ago.
"With your approval, will request transfer to my staff...
for Ensign Willis Seward Keith.
Understand needs of U.S.S. Caine have priority.
I didn't know anything about this.
Could be coincidence.
Or someone pulling strings.
What'll it be? The Admiral's staff or, as Tom puts it...
the hell of the Caine?
I don't know.
It's a simple choice. Do you want to fight a war?
This is hardly the place for a decision.
Nonsense. A good officer can make up his mind anywhere.
Come on. We haven't got all day.
Well, sir.
I'll stay on board.
That takes care of that.
Ah, Willie. You will live to regret this day.
Sir, I spotted Japanese aircraft. Broad on the starboard bow.
Position angle 20.
Do you see them, Captain?
If the war lasts 10 years, you may learn the difference...
between aircraft and sea gulls.
Man all stations for mine sweeping drill.
Launch sweep gear.
Put paravanes in the water.
Steve, that was the lousiest performance I've ever seen!
- Tell the men to get the lead out. - Stand by to stream starboard side.
Retrieve sweep gear.
Snap it up! The Jones is beating us in.
- Look out! - Stop the engines.
- Get me a line. - Don't swim. The water's full of sharks!
- Stand by the line. - Yes, sir.
This action dispatch just arrived.
Mr. Keefer says you've got the code duty.
I'll take care of it right away.
Okay! Haul away!
Lead the line outboard of everything.
Report float recovered.
The Jones never saw the day it could beat us.
You pooped out! We streamed three minutes quicker at Guadalcanal!
You must love that guy to do what you did for him.
Go dry yourself.
- That you, Willie? - Yeah.
- Didn't you say you went to Princeton? - I didn't say.
One day I may let you read a couple chapters of my novel.
A Princeton man's opinion might be valuable.
Thanks.
- Horrible! - Yes, sir?
Pick up those orange peels. This isn't a honey barge.
Yes, sir.
All right, Meatball. Laugh once more, and you're in trouble.
Ensign Keith, report to the captain's cabin.
On the double
All these 90-day wonders. Every one of 'em thinks he's a five-star admiral!
- Come in. - Yes, sir?
Three days ago this ship received a dispatch addressed to us for action.
Smitty says he gave it to you. Is that correct?
I forgot about it. It's still in the pocket of my dirty khakis.
Did you decode the message?
No, sir. It's incredible stupidity and carelessness on my part...
Fortunately, I had the job done for you.
- That'll be all, Smitty. - Yes, sir.
Have you any idea how serious misplacing an action dispatch can be?
- Yes, sir. - I don't think you have.
Because of you, this ship might have failed to carry out a combat assignment.
I hope you realize that for such a failure...
I'd bear the full responsibility in a court-martial.
I understand, sir.
I've been filling out officers' fitness reports this morning.
How do you think this ought to affect yours?
- Anyone can make a mistake. - There are mistakes and mistakes.
The margin for error is narrow in the navy.
There's too much loss of life and property possible in every act.
Here.
Read it.
"Ensign Keith seems a fairly bright young man.
He may become a competent officer...
once he overcomes a light and careless approach to his duties."
Do you consider it unfair?
- If I may be permitted? - Go ahead.
I made a mistake, but I don't see why I should be singled out for it.
Every one's goofed off around here.
The Caine's a slake ship. The men act like cutthroats...
and the decks look like a Singapore junk.
I take it you must also strongly disapprove of me.
Go ahead. Man-to-man.
I'm in no position to approve or disapprove.
I only know that my conception of a captain seems different than yours.
I'll take it under advisement.
Since you feel so bitter...
perhaps what's in the dispatch will brighten your day.
As you can see, I'm being relieved of command.
Next week this time, you'll have yourself a new captain.
Lieutenant Commander Philip Francis Queeg.
- Feel better? - Definitely, sir.
Good.
That'll be all.
"In accordance with Bureau of Naval Personnel...
order 0-1-6-0-2-1 of November, 1943...
you'll report to the Commanding Officer U.S.S. Caine as his relief in command.
Signed, Lewis Whitfield, Rear Admiral, U.S.N., Chief of Bureau."
I relieve you, sir.
All standing orders to remain in force until further notice.
Dismiss the men from quarters.
- Good luck, Captain. - Thank you.
Crew dismissed.
Oh, Captain.
I can stay aboard for a couple of days till you get used to things.
There's no need for that. We all have our own ways of running a ship.
Sure. This one's tired. She's had the guts run out of her.
Ought to be melted down for razor blades.
The crew may not look like much. They're tired too.
But every man is okay.
- I understand. - I hope you do.
Yours, Captain.
Attention on deck.
- Request permission to leave the ship. - Permission granted.
- Captain, sir? - What is it, Meatball?
Nothing.
A few of the guys chipped in and...
Whose idea was this?
I won't accept it. It's against navy regulations.
- I told them... - You don't always go by regulations.
That's my trouble. I've been aboard the Caine too long.
You men take an even strain with the new skipper..
And everything will be all right.
- I'm leaving the ship, sir. - Yes, sir.
Well, what do you know.
Somebody left this watch lying around.
Might as well have a souvenir of this old bucket.
Not a bad-looking watch at that.
What time is it, Mr. Keith?
- Eleven hundred, sir. - Make it 10:30.
I'll always keep it a half hour slow.
Remind me of the fouled-up crew of the Caine.
Carry on.
What's everybody so choked up for?
No matter what anybody says, I still think...
that someday you'll make an officer.
Captain Queeg requests a meeting of all officers at 1300.
Gentlemen, we'll be shipmates for a long time...
and I thought we ought to get acquainted.
I've formed some good impressions. you're probably curious about me.
My background is simple enough. Just another naval officer.
I've had seven tough years in the Atlantic.
Believe you me, they made the last two mighty interesting.
The way those subs ganged up on us I thought they had it in for me.
Now to get down to cases.
Any one who knows me knows I'm a book man.
I believe everything was put in it for a purpose.
When in doubt, remember we do things by the book.
Deviate from the book, and you'd better have good reasons...
and you'll still get an argument from me.
And I don't lose arguments on board my ship.
That's one of the nice things about being captain.
I want you to remember one thing.
On my ship, excellent performance is standard.
Standard performance is substandard.
Substandard performance is not permitted to exist. That, I warn you.
Now that I've shot my face off, any one can now do the same thing.
I don't wanna seem out of line...
but it's been a long time since this crew did things by the book.
Mr. Maryk, tell the crew there are four ways of doing things on board my ship.
The right way, the wrong way, the navy way and my way.
They do things my way, we'll get along.
Aye, aye, sir.
Anyone else?
Come in.
Sorry to interrupt.
Official message from ComServPac.
Thank you.
One moment, messenger.
- What's your name and rate? - Urban, sir. Seaman First.
Signalman Striker.
Very well. You may go.
Yes, sir.
Gentlemen...
anyone notice anything peculiar about Seaman First Class Urban?
A shirttail hanging out of trousers is the uniform for busboys...
not for a sailor in the United States Navy.
These are the things we are going to start noticing again.
Who's the morale officer?
There is no morale officer, sir.
- Who's the junior ensign? - Keith, sir.
- Sir? - You are now the morale officer.
In addition to your duties, see that every man keeps his shirttail...
tucked inside his trousers.
Aye, aye, sir.
If I see another shirttail flapping white I'm captain of this ship...
woe betide the sailor, woe betide the O.O.D...
and woe betide the morale officer... I kid you not.
According to this, we're to proceed to Area X-ray...
at 0800 tomorrow to tow targets.
I'll put it to you simply: The Caine will be the best target-towing ship...
in this man's navy.
That'll be all, gentlemen.
All men are to have their hair cut to regulation length...
and their faces clean-shaven by 2400.
Aye, aye, sir.
Well, he's certainly navy.
Yeah. So was Captain Bligh.
Attention all hands!
Ships will commence firing at target at 1000.
All observers lay oft to the fantail.
Flash.
Short. 200. Over.
One hundred. Two-fifty.
Hit. Over.
One hundred. Two-fifty.
Short. One hundred.
Over. 150, 200.
Ensign Keith report to the bridge on the double.
Yes, sir?
Have you any explanation for the appearance of this sailor?
- You heard my order on shirttails. - I got a heat rash...
- Tuck your shirt in now. - The captain won't let me.
I want you to see what a rotten job you're doing.
Gwendolyn, this is Tarzan.
Tarzan, this is Gwendolyn.
Cease present exercises and return to base.
- Well done. Out. - Roger.
Thank you, sir.
We're heading back. Right standard rudder.
And now, first of all...
do you or don't you have an explanation for this?
- I was on the... - I didn't ask for an alibi.
My orders mean very little to you.
I'm completely at fault. But I tried my best...
Your best is only a maximum of inefficiency.
What's the matter with the old man? We're steaming in a circle.
Yeah, I know.
- Captain. - Don't interrupt while I'm speaking.
- We're going... - One more word and you're on report.
Can you explain why this occurred while you were officer of the deck?
There are limits to what a man can do.
The officer of the deck is equally as responsible for his duties...
as I am for the welfare of this ship.
And one thing more, mister.
War is a 24-hour job.
There will be no more novel writing on the Caine.
You will both submit written reports explaining...
A: why this man had his shirttail out.
B: why you failed so miserably to carry out my orders.
Aye, aye.
Hey, Meatball! Am I seeing straight...
or are we cutting back across our towline?
That's impossible. But it's happened!
We're gonna cut across our own towline!
- You better tell him again. - Not me.
What's happened? What's going on?
What's our target doing out there?
- What have you been doing? - You said keep right standard rudder.
You idiot! All engines stop.
Captain, we've steamed over our own towline!
- Who said that? - We've cut the target adrift.
We did nothing of the kind. Something is wrong with the cable.
We can't be responsible if we're given faulty cables that break.
Should we recover the target? It shouldn't take more than half an hour.
Half an hour? That means we'll be the last ship back in Pearl Harbor.
No, thank you. We're not gonna answer questions about something...
that's not our fault.
- Reel in the cable. - Aye, aye, sir.
Send the following dispatch to ComServPac.
Defective towline parted southwest corner X-ray.
Target adrift.
Menace to navigation.
Suggest tug recover or destroy.
He'll never get away with it.
- Let's head for the barn. - Aye, aye, sir.
All engines ahead full.
- Sir? - You look worried.
I know a man's shirt's a petty detail...
but big things are made up of details.
"For want of a nail a horseshoe was lost"...
and then the whole battle.
A captain's job is a lonely one.
He's easily misunderstood.
Forget that I bawled you out.
It was the good of the morale of all concerned.
Yes, sir.
Hallelujah! Look what just came in.
- We're going back to San Francisco. - You're kidding?
All thanks to our beloved Captain Queeg.
He's in plenty of hot water.
I told you they'd never accept his double-talk about the towline.
They can't send us all the way back for that.
Listen: "Upon arrival, commanding officer report immediately...
commander western sea frontier."
I tell you, he's in serious trouble.
Our captain is about to be boiled in oil.
And you are about to see your girl.
- Willie, darling! - Mother.
- This is a real surprise. - You didn't expect me not to be here.
It's wonderful to have my boy close again.
Mother...
I'd like you to meet a friend of mine.
May Wynn.
I'm always delighted to meet one of Willie's friends.
Thank you.
Hello? Hello, May.
Sure. I'll be right down then.
- I guess I'm ready to go. - I'm afraid I'll miss you a lot.
It's just a weekend at Yosemite.
This sailor needs some playtime.
Miss Wynn is going with you?
Yes, she is.
You must feel very strongly about her.
I do. I like her a lot.
Now, you have a nice weekend yourself.
- Are you in love with her? - I don't know.
But I sure missed her while I was away.
Well, she is attractive.
But you don't know anything about her.
- You haven't met her parents. - That's right.
I guess I'll have to do that someday.
For your own sake, all I want you to do is...
- Promise you won't do anything rash. - I promise.
- You mean it? - Sure I mean it.
Good-bye, Mom.
- Whoa! - Pull him up easy.
That's good.
- How did you like it? - Like breaking in a new song...
It's fun, but it scares me.
It was nice of your mother to let you go to Yosemite.
- It wasn't up to my mother. - Well!
Six months of war has made a difference.
Has it?
I missed you more than I planned to.
Let the fire fall!
- This is paradise. - Isn't it?
Willie, there are people.
Let them look.
You have changed.
Sometimes I think there's almost a chance for us.
It's getting late.
It's getting very late.
I'll wait. Thanks.
Good morning. Sorry I'm late.
Guess I'm not used to being without an alarm clock.
Oh, what a day! Have you ordered yet?
- Not yet. - Just orange juice and coffee, please.
Make it two.
You know what I'd love to do?
I'd love to climb to the top of that mountain over there.
Darling, what's the matter?
- Just thinking. - Come on. Something's the matter.
- I expected you to be happy. - May.
What would you think of spending your life with a monster like me?
- What's this? - I'm talking about getting married.
- Is that what you really want? - Of course I want it.
Don't look at me as if I were crazy.
I don't want you to marry me because you think it's a doesn't thing to do...
Look...
I love you, and I wanna marry you.
Yes or no?
- Why not? - Because your mother won't approve.
- Of course she'll approve. - She won't.
But you'll marry me anyway. And you'll be so unhappy that...
I won't be unhappy.
I love you.
Maybe you do.
Really do.
But marriage'll have to be by our own approval.
No one else's.
That's asking a lot.
That's right.
Have a good cry, Willie. I know I will!
- In 30 seconds you'd have been A.W.O.L. - I just got the telegram.
And you couldn't tear your self away from your girl?
Yeah. Any news on Queeg?
Single up all lines, and stand by to cast off!
Hope you haven't been inconvenienced, Mr. Keith.
Seems like you made a slight mistake. He's still here.
My mistake was nothing compared to the navy's.
Take in the bow.
Well, as you probably know by now...
we returned to San Francisco for a new radar installation.
However, misleading reports were sent to the force commander.
This created doubts in his mind as to the Caine's competence in combat.
I made it clear I inherited a ship in a low state of training...
and couldn't be expected to pull it into shape overnight.
He agreed.
From now on, there will not be any further mistakes...
on the part of the officers and crew of this ship.
Some smoke went down the wrong way.
This is an important command.
The navy's waiting for a butch. Well, I'm not going to make it.
And I'm not gonna permit anybody to make it for me.
So much for old business.
Gentlemen, I've good news for you.
We're on our way to the greatest invasion attempted in this war.
I kid you not. The greatest.
Let's all straighten up and fly right!
All hands put on battle dress.
All hands put on battle dress and anti-flash cream.
We don't have to shoot the Japs. We can scare 'em to death.
Cease fire!
Close the boat group and take station. Keith, take the Conn.
Aye, aye, sir.
That's the group we take in. Jacob Group Four.
Come right to course 0-4-5.
All engines ahead full.
We're closing too fast. We'll run those boats down.
- Where's the captain? - On the wing.
How did he let you handle a ship at a time like this?
All engines stop.
Boat ahoy!
What's going on? Who's yelling to whom?
It looked like we were overshooting these boys, so I stopped.
What's the distance to the beach?
- About three miles. We're supposed... - I know. Within 1, 000 yards.
You take the Conn. Get us there. Full speed ahead.
We will proceed. Follow us.
Good luck.
Okay. Thanks.
Left tangent 0-0-6.
Beacon 0-8-4.
Distance, 5, 000.
We're too far ahead of the attack group. Engines back one-third.
Left tangent 3-5-0.
Beacon 1-1-6.
Distance, 4, 000.
- Why are we slowing down? - We were losing them.
If they can't keep up, throw over a dye-marker when we reach the spot.
We're getting too close! You wanna run us on the beach?
We still have at least 1, 500 yards to go.
You're crazy!
I can read instruments as well as anybody on this ship!
We're within 1, 000 yards now! This is as far as we must go!
Left full rudder.
All engines ahead full.
Throw over a dye-marker. You heard me!
Fantail for bridge. Throw over a dye-marker.
- We can't leave those marines! - I'm taking the Conn.
I relieve you.
Aye, aye.
- What's he doing? Running away? - Don't look for trouble.
Well, what do you think of your boy now?
I don't know. There must be a reason for what he did.
Yeah. There's a reason, all right.
I've got those yellowstain blues
Those silly yellowstain blues
When someone fires a shot
It's always there I am not
I've got those yellowstain blues
The old yellowstain blues
Those yellowstain blues
- We better pipe down. - Don't be so worried.
It's time you got over being impressed by people with authority...
like parents and ships' captains.
- Thanks, Dad. - You're welcome.
More!
I've got those yellowstain blues
Down from my head to my shoes
Oh, you should see strong men quail
If he should spy a shirttail
All right, Harding. Cut it.
Steve. Thought you'd be amused.
This is a saga of a man whose tack of charm...
is exceeded only by his lack of intestinal fortitude.
It's not funny. You ought to know better.
Find somebody else to sing about. That's an order!
Why? Old Yellowstain ought to be flattered.
I don't wanna hear the name Old yellowstain again.
The captain wants a meeting in the wardroom immediately.
And he kids us not!
Don't get up, gentlemen.
I'm not feeling too well.
What I have to say won't take long.
That'll be all, steward.
I know some of you were, perhaps, a little afraid of me.
I'm not that terrible. I have a wife, a child and a dog.
They're rather fond of me.
Even the dog doesn't think I'm a monster.
Perhaps certain things happened today.
As I always say, a command is a lonely job.
It isn't easy to make decisions.
Sometimes the captain of a ship needs help... by help I mean...
constructive loyalty.
What I'm trying to say is...
a ship is like a family.
We all have our ideas of right and wrong...
but we have to pitch in for the good of the family.
If there was only some way we could help each other.
I...
If there's anything any of you would like to say...
I'll be glad to listen.
Welt, I've spoken my piece. I only hope it registers.
Don't get up. Please.
Paynter.
Have the pharmacist send some more aspirin. My headache's much worse.
Yes, sir.
This is what is known in literature as the pregnant pause.
There's only one thing left to do: Write to Walter Winchell.
I almost felt sorry for him.
Don't be so sentimental.
I thought it was a pretty good speech.
It was as close to an apology as he could get. We could've backed him up.
What could we have said? He turned yellow the first time we saw action.
Look, Princeton, you knew nothing about DeVriess; you know less about Queeg.
He's a tired man. His nerves are shot.
It's happened before... a man loses his head... after what Queeg's gone through.
That's a very endearing explanation. But it won't hold.
Has it ever occurred to you that our captain might be unbalanced?
- Cut the jokes. - I'm no psychiatrist...
but I know something about abnormal behavior.
Captain Queeg has every symptom of acute paranoia.
It's just a question of time before he goes over the line.
- Step outside, Keith. - I'd like to stay.
Let him. He studied psychology at college.
You're fooling with dynamite.
Look at the man!
He's a Freudian delight. He crawls with clues.
His fixation on the little rolling balls.
The chattering in secondhand phrases and slogans.
His inability to look you in the eye, his migraine headaches.
Shirttails and tonight's pathetic speech:
"Forget about my turning yellow. My dog likes me."
I think Tom makes sense.
You stay out of this.
All right. So he has migraine headaches...
and he rolls steel balls and does other screwy things.
So what?
You'd get up before reveille and fill papers with scribbling.
Everybody's a screwball in some way. That doesn't make them crazy.
You're kidding yourself.
Will you go over to the medical officer with me...
and repeat everything you've told me?
- Do you agree with my diagnosis? - Not a word of it.
- Even if I understood what you said. - Well, then.
Why should you expect me to take this on my shoulders?
If you don't see it, I don't stand a chance.
Then we drop it right now.
There'll be no more talk about the captain being crazy.
Like running around explosives with a blowtorch.
I still insist he's a paranoia case.
See this Bible? I swear to you on this...
I'll report to the captain anything further you say along those lines.
There's no more friendship on this point. That's the straight dope.
Medical log on Lieutenant Commander X-Ray.
This log is being started because the possibility exists...
that the commander of this ship may be mentally disturbed.
March 5th, 1944.
This evening we were showing a Hopalong Cassidy movie on the forecastle.
Stop the picture! Will you please stop this picture!
Attention on deck
Why wasn't I notified this movie was being shown?
Last week you told me you couldn't look at another Western.
- I just assumed... - You assumed?
This was calculated disrespect to your commanding officer.
All right! There will be no more movies for 30 days.
May 28, 1944.
Morale couldn't be lower. The crew is resentful...
the officers just going through the motions of carrying out orders.
This afternoon the captain held a general drill...
for the instruction and safety of the crew.
This is the captain speaking.
Many men have ignored my orders about wearing battle gear.
So there's only one way to drive the point home.
Men not wearing a helmet or life jacket will be docked three-days' liberty.
I see you! Stop putting on that gear!
Mr. Keith. Put that man down there without a life jacket on report.
- Which one? - That one down there on the machine gun!
You people think you're very clever! Well, you're not fooling me!
Get that redheaded fellow over there!
I can't tell which one is redheaded. They're all wearing helmets.
Keith! You're an idiot!
This is the captain.
Some sailors still think they can pull a fast one on me.
They're mistaken. Since you've taken this course...
the innocent will be punished with the guilty.
No liberty for any crew member for three months!
I will not be made a fool of! Do you hear me?
July 30, 1944.
Today we received a gift from the officers of the U.S.S. Pinkney...
a gallon of frozen strawberries.
I was checking the watch at 1:00 AM when I stopped to speak to Ensign Keith.
How's it going?
Situation quiet. The captain's been put away for the night.
Lay off.
You know that I was with you and against Tom in the beginning.
But I don't see how the Caine can go on like this much longer!
You haven't the experience to know one way or another.
- I'm not blind! I've watched the man... - All right.
The captain's in rocky shape, but he'll come out of it. He's got to.
Mr. Maryk, Mr. Keith. Captain wants a meeting of all officers right away.
- At 1:00 in the morning? - Yes, sir.
- You know what it's about? - Yes, sir. Strawberries.
- You're sure this is a gallon can? - Yes, sir. I took it from the pantry.
I suppose you're wondering why I called this meeting.
You alt know we had an excellent dessert of ice cream and frozen strawberries.
About an hour ago, I sent Whittaker to bring me another portion.
He came back with the ice cream, but he said...
"Sir, there ain't no more strawberries."'
Gentlemen, I don't believe that the officers of this ship...
consumed a full gallon of strawberries.
I intend to prove it.
How many portions of ice cream and strawberries did you have?
- Two, sir. - Whittaker.
Dole out a scoop of sand for each portion of strawberries.
Yes, sir.
- Mr. Keefer, how many for you? - Three, Captain.
- Keith? - Two, sir.
- Harding? - Two, sir.
- Paynter? - Two, sir.
- Carmody? - Two, sir.
- Jorgenson? - Two, sir.
- Rabbit? - Two, sir.
And the steward's mates had three, right?
Yes, sir. One helping each.
- Mr. Keith said it was okay. - Yes, I did, sir.
And I had four.
Two...
Twenty-four portions in all.
This tureen holds an amount of sand equal to the strawberries we had.
- Right, Whittaker? - Yes, sir.
Look at this gallon can and tell me how much sand is left.
A quart or less.
Have any of you an explanation for the quart of missing strawberries?
There can be no doubt someone finished them for us.
You are all appointed a board of investigation...
to find out who's responsible for this theft.
Mr. Maryk, you are the senior member.
You mean in the morning?
Now does not mean in the morning.
It means 0147.
I expect a full report by 0800.
All right! Pipe down. The faster we get this done, the faster we get sleep.
- Send in the stewards, one at a time. - Yes, sir.
If the strawberries had been poisoned our problems would have been solved.
Strawberries, anyone?
- Unsatisfactory. - I'm sorry, Captain.
We kept the mess boys and the cook most of the night.
They may be lying, but it's a dead end.
We couldn't keep covering the ground endlessly.
You spent the entire night and accomplished nothing...
while I've thought the whole thing out very clearly.
Did it ever occur to you that some boy made a duplicate key to the icebox?
There's no indication...
There's some things we must assume in order to be a good officer.
Back in '37 when I was a lowly ensign on a cruiser...
five pounds of cheese was missing.
Everybody was willing to forget about it. But not me.
I snooped and found some chowhound had made a wax impression of the key.
I made him confess and got myself a nice letter of commendation.
This looks to me like exactly the same situation.
- We can't be sure there's... - You've tried every other solution.
I've worked out a very simple plan.
First, we collect every key on this ship and tag it with the name of the owner.
Second, we strip all hands to make sure we've got all keys.
Third, we test each key on the icebox padlock.
The one that fits will give us the name of the owner.
- How do we know there's such a key? - I say there's a key.
Captain, what's to prevent this boy from tossing the key overboard?
No. He'd never toss it after he's gone to all the trouble making it.
He may try to hide it, but we'll find it.
I never thought of that.
Don't stand there. Get on the ball.
We'll have a little fun, now that we've detective work to do.
Yes, sir.
Turn me in if you want to, but this is it. This is over the line.
Queeg is a paranoid or there's no such thing as paranoia.
- I warned you. - Can't you see what he's doing?
He's reenacting the big triumph of his career:
The cheese investigation.
He wants to prove he's still the red-hot Queeg of 1937.
There is no key.
- What happened to the strawberries? - Does it matter?
Is it worth turning a ship upside-down?
Would anyone but a crazy man do it?
Are you familiar with Article 184 of navy regulations?
Vaguely.
Here. Listen to this:
On the Caine it's required reading.
"Article 184:
It is conceivable that most unusual circumstances may arise...
in which the relief from duty of a commanding officer becomes necessary...
either by placing him under arrest or on the sick list.
Such actions are not to be taken without approval of the Navy Department...
except when it is impracticable because of the delay involved."
If I were you, I'd memorize it.
I'll take these to the captain.
- Great weather for stripping down. - Great for pneumonia.
- That wouldn't stop the investigation. - Next.
- Meatball, get dressed. - Don't you wanna x-ray me for the key?
I've seen him! He swallowed the key with his coffee. Very tricky!
Pipe down, both of you.
So long, fellas.
Don't tell me you're escaping from the Caine.
I got dispatch orders hack to the states. My wife is seriously ill.
- I'm sorry to hear that. - She'll be all right.
We'll keep you posted on the outcome of the great key investigation.
- Do that. - Good luck.
Thank you, sir.
If I tell you something, will you promise not to do anything about it?
At least till I'm ashore?
- Okay, what is it? - There is no key.
- What? - How do you know?
I know. The mess boys ate the strawberries. I saw them.
I didn't want to get them into trouble.
Then I made my mistake. I told the captain.
He called me a liar and threatened to hold up my orders if I mentioned it.
Please, don't say anything.
You can count on us.
Boy, am I happy to get out of this madhouse.
So long, and good luck.
I'll call all your wives and girls for you.
Well?
I've been thinking about what you've said.
I've been thinking about Article 184, and I've got to admit you're right.
Admiral Halsey's here with the fleet.
How about seeing him after we finish with this nonsense?
Sure.
You too, Willie.
Request permission to come on board... Admiral Halsey's quarters.
- Official business from the Caine. - Very well. Lieutenant Jones?
- He'd like to see the admiral. - Very well. Come with me.
Just a minute please, gentlemen.
This is a fine time to think of this, but we're making a big mistake.
- What are you talking about? - Look at this!
We've been kidding ourselves. This is the real navy!
With real officers, not Queeg's!
The Caine's a freak, a floating mistake.
- What are you driving at? - They'll never believe our story.
I don't get it. Is Queeg off his head or isn't he?
- Is this record correct or not? - Yes, it's correct.
The trouble is, we won't be able to make it stick.
Everything you've got in your log can be interpreted as an attempt at discipline.
- But we know different. - Because we've lived through it.
- Halsey hasn't. - Why didn't you tell me this before?
Just be glad I thought of it now. If we go through with this, we're in trouble.
It won't mean as much to Willie and me as it will to you.
You want to stay in the navy.
Do you want them thinking you're a mutinous officer?
- Tom has an argument there. - I'm willing to take a chance.
- Are you scared? - Scared?
I see six sides to every risk and 12 reasons not to take it.
Cut the kidding.
Behind this brilliant, eloquent exterior, I've got a wide yellow streak.
I'm too smart to be brave.
Admiral Halsey will see you now.
- I pass. - Thank the admiral.
We've decided this isn't the time.
Stations. Special sea and anchor detail.
Make all preparations for getting underway.
Make all preparations for heavy weather.
Dismissed from quarters.
Steve, what do we do now?
Without Tom, I couldn't get to first base.
I'd never even heard the word paranoid.
He's got to make the pitch or we're sunk.
I don't get it. Tom's certainly not a coward.
To tell you the truth, I don't know what Tom is now.
You'd better double-time back to your ship. We've received a storm warning.
The fleet's getting underway.
- Turn on the standard lights. - Aye, sir.
Sir, the barometer's still dropping.
- I've seen it. - The chief engineer wants to know...
if you're gonna take on ballast?
- Tell him no. - I suggest that we do.
I'm not going to foul up his fuel lines with salt water.
This following sea is brutal! We need more knots to outrun it.
Bridge to engine control. This is the captain.
You in the engine room, I want power.
Power on the starboard engine, do you hear?
Emergency flank power.
Do you want the ship to go down? We're in a typhoon!
Close that door!
- Sir, I've relieved the watch. - Pass the word to put on life jackets.
It's difficult holding her, sir! The wheel feels loose.
I don't know if we can keep riding with our stern to the wind!
Those are fleet orders.
I think the depth charges should be put on safe.
They are on safe. Mr. Keefer gave me orders to set them.
Why wasn't I told? I can't go steaming around with a lot of dead charges!
- I told Mr. Keefer... - Speak when you're spoken to!
Put this man on report for insolence and neglect of duty!
Get another helmsman. Keep that idiot's face out of my sight!
- Stilwell's our best man! - Will you stop this hack talk!
Isn't there one officer that pays attention to my orders?
Number one switchboard shorted out by salt water! Shifted to number two!
We're falling off to starboard!
We're abroaching-to! Try backing the starboard engine!
Sir! Back-to starboard engine!
Look in the radar shack. See if there are any ships near us.
Aye, aye, sir.
If we keep running with our stern to the wind, we'll roll over!
The radars are jammed There's no sign of the fleet!
Passing 2-2-5!
Swinging very fast!
We have to maneuver for the safety of the ship!
We've received no orders to maneuver. Fleet course is 1-8-0.
How do you know what the fleet's orders are now?
We can call fleet commander and tell him we're in trouble!
We're not in trouble.
Heading 2-4-5! I can't hold the wheel!
Back-to starboard engine!
Stilwell, hold her to hard right!
Ease your rudder to standard!
Rudder easing to standard!
Heading 3-2-5. She's coming around slower, sir!
We'll do much better heading into the wind.
Steady on 0-0-0!
Who gave those orders? Fleet course is 1-8-0!
Captain, we're in serious trouble!
If you question my decisions again, I'll order you off this bridge.
Come left!
Stilwell, steady as you go. Willie, note the time.
Captain, I'm sorry, but you're a sick man.
I'm relieving you as captain under Article 184.
I don't know what you're talking about!
Helmsman, left, 1-8-0!
Mr. Keith, what do I do? You're the officer of the deck.
I told you to come left! Come left and fast!
I'm sorry, but you're not issuing orders on this bridge anymore.
I've relieved you. I take full responsibility.
You're under arrest. Go below to your cabin.
- Left to 1-8-0. - Right standard rudder!
New course, 0-0-0!
Mr. Keith, what do I do?
Come north, Stilwell. Mr. Maryk has taken command.
Call your relief! You're under arrest too!
All officers not on watch report to the bridge! This is Maryk.
- What's up? - I have just relieved the captain.
He will continue to be treated with courtesy...
but from now on, I will give all orders!
I take full responsibility for this action.
Don't kid yourself! Mr. Keith hacked you up.
He'll pay the same as you will!
Officers, if you know what's good for you, tell them to stop while they can!
You officers approve?
Do you, Mr. Keefer?
It's not up to Mr. Keefer to approve.
You'll all hang for conspiracy to mutiny!
Everybody back to their stations. Hold the course 0-0-0.
- It's right over there. - Thank you.
Yes. This is Ensign Keith.
New York?
Thank you.
Hello?
I've been trying to get you all day. Are you all right?
I'm okay. How are you?
An officer from your ship called.
Ensign Harding. He told me that you were in trouble.
I'm worried.
Is your mother with you?
No. She's in Washington. Uncle Lloyd's sick.
I'm sorry to hear it.
It was wonderful of you to phone.
May, darling...
Willie, please don't.
What an idiot I was.
I could have married you in the most beautiful place in the world.
I'll regret that I didn't for the rest of my life.
Please. It's over. It's all in the past.
But I want you to know that I love you. And I'll never forget you.
Good-bye, Willie.
Thank you.
- Mr. Maryk? - I'm Maryk.
My name's Barney Greenwald.
Pleased to meet you. Have a crack-up?
Yeah.
- Are you our lawyer? - Well, I'm a lawyer.
This is Ensign Keith. Lieutenant Keefer.
- You're the co-defendant? - Yes, sir.
- And you, Mr. Keefer? - I'm holding his coat.
- What does that mean? - I'm a friend of the family.
That's pretty flip under the circumstances.
Sorry. I was on board the Caine. Communications officer.
I'm gonna be frank.
I've read the preliminary investigation, and what you've done stinks.
If that's how you feel, why are you taking the case?
I didn't say I'd take it. I told legal I'd have a talk with Mr. Maryk.
It depends on what he has to say.
Maybe you'd better get another lawyer.
Try it. Eight other officers have already turned it down.
I don't want to upset you, but you have an excellent chance of being hanged.
We'll answer anything you wanna know.
All right. Which are you?
A fool or a mutineer? There's no third possibility.
The only way I could prove I was right was to let the ship go down.
- Three ships were lost in the typhoon. - Sure.
And 194 stayed afloat without relieving the skipper.
- There wasn't any other choice! - Hold it.
Maybe I was a fool, but I'm not a mutineer.
He should get a medal for what he did.
He had a paranoid skipper who fell apart when the ship was in danger.
He saved the ship.
The navy has three psychiatrists prepared to say Queeg is sane.
Sure. Paranoids are clever.
They walk a thin line between sanity and lunacy.
Are you a psychiatrist?
No, I'm a writer. It's my business to be a judge of human behavior.
I see. And you were the first to notice the captain's psychotic symptoms?
Yes.
You explained all this to Mr. Maryk?
I discussed it.
That's an interesting point. Are you ready to repeat it on the witness stand?
Why not?
You ought to take a look at Article 186 of navy regulations.
"An officer relieving his commanding officer, or recommending such action...
together with all others who so council...
must bear the legitimate responsibility and must justify such action."
That's confusing the issue.
I'm not on trial. If I were, I'd take the rap.
It's too bad we can't use you as an expert on psychiatry.
After all, you made the diagnosis.
Yes.
The atmosphere's getting a little thick in here.
If you can get along without me, I'll wait in the hall.
Tom had nothing to do with it. It was my decision.
- Nobody told me what to do. - Sure.
Will you take the case?
I'd much rather prosecute.
Well, I guess I can't blame you.
I'll take it.
- How do we plead? - Your case depends on Maryk.
- Then how do I plead? - Not guilty, of course.
You're a great naval hero.
"Charge: making a mutiny.
Specification: In that, Stephen Maryk, United States Naval Reserve...
while serving on board the U.S.S. Caine, did, on or about July 31, 1944...
willfully, forcibly, and without proper authority...
relieve Lieutenant Commander Philip Queeg, U.S. Navy...
who was then and there engaged in the lawful exercise of his command...
the United States then being in a state of war.
You've heard the charge and specification preferred against you.
How say you to the specification? Guilty or not guilty?
- Not guilty. - How say you to the charge?
- Guilty or not guilty? - Not guilty.
The prosecution is prepared to prove...
that the removal of Lieutenant Commander Queeg was not justified...
by any provision of the U.S. Navy regulations...
and consequently constituted the making of a mutiny against legal authority.
We'll also submit psychiatric testimony, establishing, without a doubt...
that Lieutenant Commander Queeg is a sane, intelligent officer...
and should not have been relieved.
No statement at this time.
In order to establish the circumstances...
the prosecution would like to first call Ensign Willis Keith.
Mr. Keith, were you the officer of the deck on the D.M.S. Caine...
during the morning of July 31st?
Yes.
Was the captain relieved by the executive officer during that watch?
- Yes, sir. - Do you know why he took that action?
I do.
The captain lost control of himself, and the ship was in danger of foundering.
Have you ever been in a ship that foundered?
- No, sir. - How long have you been in the navy?
Just over a year.
Do you know how many years Lieutenant Commander Queeg served at sea?
- No. - As a matter of fact...
he's served over eight years.
Which of you is better qualified to judge if a ship is foundering?
Myself, sir...
when I'm in possession of my faculties and Commander Queeg is not.
Tell me, just how would you describe this loss of faculties?
Did the captain rave or make insane gestures?
Well, no.
After being relieved, did he go violently crazy?
He was never wild or raving either before or after being relieved.
There are other forms of mental illness.
Thank you for your expert opinion.
Are you aware he's been pronounced rational by 3 qualified psychiatrists?
They weren't on the bridge during that typhoon.
Did you like the captain?
- At first I did. - And later?
Well, I felt he was incompetent and unfair.
He blamed the crew for his mistakes and rode the men too hard.
- Yourself included? - Yes.
So you ended up by hating Captain Queeg?
Yes.
Let's come to the morning of the 31st of July.
Was your decision to obey Mr. Maryk...
based upon your judgment that the captain had gone crazy...
or was it based on your hatred of Captain Queeg?
It's contempt of court to refuse to answer questions.
I believe Mr. Maryk did the right thing.
That's all. No further questions.
I'd like to ask you if you've ever heard the expression...
"Of Old Yellowstain"?
Could you repeat that?
- I've heard it. - Was it a nickname?
Yes. For Captain Queeg.
- What did it imply? - It implied cowardice.
I object. I move that question be struck from the record...
as an unnecessary attack upon the honor of a naval officer.
The career of an officer with a 14-year unblemished record is involved here.
The court understands your zeal, but I warn you...
you bear full responsibility for your conduct of the case.
The court holds in abeyance the prosecution's motion.
Did that nickname have anything to do with the typhoon?
- No, sir. - That's all.
No further questions.
The court has no questions.
You are warned not to discuss your testimony with anyone...
except the parties to the trial and the accused.
You're excused.
The ship was rollin' real bad. I couldn't hold her.
Captain wanted me to come left, and the exec wanted me to come right.
- Which did you do? - I obeyed Mr. Maryk, sir.
- Why? - Mr. Keith said Mr. Maryk had command.
- Did the captain act crazy? - No.
- Did Mr. Maryk act crazy? - No.
- Did the captain seem scared? - No.
- Did Mr. Maryk seem scared? - No.
- Did any one? - Just me. I was da...
I was plenty scared.
- Did you like Captain Queeg? - I liked him.
Not a lot, but I liked him.
He acted strange.
Was it strange he cleaned up the Caine?
Was it strange he made the men get haircuts?
Was it strange he was strict about navy regulations?
- No. - What you thought strange...
was his attempts to make good sailors of his crew.
That's all.
What do those stars represent?
What do they represent?
This silver star is the Coral Sea, Midway, Guadalcanal, Tulagi...
That's all.
Call Lieutenant Thomas Keefer.
When did you first learn about Captain Queeg's relief?
Mr. Maryk called us to the bridge.
When we arrived, he told us he'd assumed command.
Did Captain Queeg show any external signs of being sick?
At the height of a typhoon, nobody looks very well.
Didn't you realize that Captain Queeg's warning to the other officers...
about collusion in mutiny was well-founded?
- I did. - Then why did you take no action?
I wasn't present when the captain was relieved.
So I didn't know what he'd done in a critical moment...
to have convinced the executive officer he was sick.
For the safety of the ship, my best course was to obey Mr. Maryk's order...
until such time as higher authority endorsed or overruled his action.
During all the period Captain Queeg was in command of the Caine...
did you observe any evidence of insanity in him?
I can't answer that question intelligently, not being a psychiatrist.
Did you ever have any reason to think Captain Queeg might be insane?
Objection. The witness isn't an expert.
Matters of opinion are not permissible evidence.
Strike it from the record.
At anytime prior to the 31st of July...
did you know Mr. Maryk suspected Captain Queeg of being mentally ill?
Yes.
Mr. Maryk showed me a medical log he'd written on Queeg's behavior.
Did you believe that log justified the relief of Captain Queeg?
- Well, sir... - Yes or no.
No, sir.
Mr. Maryk was a close friend of mine.
He persuaded Mr. Keith and me to see Admiral Halsey.
When we arrived, I told him as forcibly as I could...
that the log didn't justify such action...
and that we'd all be liable to a charge of mutiny.
Were you surprised when Mr. Maryk relieved the captain?
I was flabbergasted.
Were you pleased?
I've said Mr. Maryk was a close friend.
I was disturbed. I anticipated that at best...
he would be involved in great difficulty.
No further questions.
No questions.
Does defense intend to recall witness at a later time?
No, sir.
- No cross-examination? - No, sir.
- Witness excused. - He's lying!
Every time he opens his mouth he gets you into more trouble.
Forget it. I want one hero, not two mutineers.
Call Dr. Dixon, please.
- How'd it go? - Ordeal. You know.
- You were on the hot seat yourself. - I didn't know if I was coming or going.
But you're the word king. You know what you were doing.
Yeah.
I knew what I was doing.
May I ask you, as a psychiatrist...
is it possible for a sane man to perform offensive or foolish acts?
- It happens every day. - Assuming for a moment...
This is a hypothetical question.
Assuming the captain's conduct was harsh and often showed bad judgment...
would that be inconsistent with your diagnosis of him?
No. My colleagues and I didn't find Commander Queeg a perfect officer.
We found an absence of mental illness.
You still say the defendant was unjustified in relieving him?
From a psychiatric standpoint, completely unjustified.
Your witness.
My background is legal, not medical.
Forgive me if I ask elementary questions.
That's all right.
You've said previously that Commander Queeg, like all adults...
had problems which he handled well.
What problems?
I object. Commander Queeg isn't on trial. Lieutenant Maryk is.
This constitutes irrelevant probing of medical confidences.
I rely on the court's judgment.
Evidence regarding Queeg's mental makeup is of utmost importance to my case.
Objection overruled.
The doctor may answer within the limits of medical discretion.
Repeat the question.
"You've said previously that Commander Queeg, like all adults...
had problems which he handled well.
What problems?"
The overall problem...
is one of inferiority, arising from an unfavorable childhood...
and aggravated by adult experiences.
What were those adult experiences?
He'd undergone a lot of strain...
in long, arduous combat duty.
That's all I can say.
Sir, would he be inclined to admit mistakes?
None of us are.
- Would he be a perfectionist? - Yes.
Inclined to hound subordinates about small details?
Yes.
Would he be inclined to think that people were hostile to him?
That's part of the picture, yes.
And if criticized, would he feel he was being unjustly persecuted?
It's all one pattern stemming from one premise.
He must try to be perfect.
You testified the following symptoms exist in Commander Queeg's behavior:
rigidity of personality, feelings of persecution...
unreasonable suspicion, a mania for perfection...
and a neurotic certainty that's he's always right.
Isn't there one psychiatric term for this illness?
I never said there was illness!
Thank you for the correction, sir.
What would you call a personality that had these symptoms?
A paranoid personality, but that's not a disabling illness.
What kind of personality?
- Paranoid. - Thank you, sir.
If I may speak.
I'd like to protest the council's twisting of words.
There's a difference between mental illness and minor mental disturbances.
Let me put it this way:
Could Captain Queeg have been disabled by the severe strain of command?
That's absurdly hypothetical.
Is it?
Have you ever had sea duty?
- No. - Have you ever been at sea?
- No. - How long have you been in the navy?
Five months.
Have you had dealings with ship captains before this?
I suggest you can't be an authority on the strain of command...
and thus, you may be completely wrong about Captain Queeg.
- Your witness. - One minute, Doctor.
Council for defense has raised an interesting point.
In private practice, did you ever have patients...
who had to deal with complicated command decisions...
men such as plant managers, industrialists, et cetera?
Yes. Quite a few.
Including flyers who have to decide questions of life and death every day.
I've written a book on the subject.
In those cases, could you detect where a neurosis...
might damage the ability to make decisions at the right time?
Absolutely.
And in your examination of Commander Queeg...
you found no such damage, right?
Absolutely right.
Thank you, Doctor. That'll be all.
- Smart guy. - He's sure gonna bear down on me.
And that's the way I saw it.
I felt it was my duty as a naval officer.
Captain Queeg was sick... mentally ill...
and I had to take over.
And honestly, if I had to do it again, I'd do it.
Thank you, Mr. Maryk. Your witness, sir.
Mr. Maryk, just a few questions.
Would you say your grades in high school were average?
Lower than average.
- And in college? - Lower than average.
What training have you had in psychiatry or medicine?
None.
Where did you get the idea that Captain Queeg was mentally ill?
- Out of books. - What books? Name the titles.
I can't remember.
Define schizophrenia.
I can't.
- What is a manic depressive? - I don't know.
What's the difference between the words paranoid and paranoia?
I don't know.
You don't know what you're talking about when you discuss mental illness.
I didn't say I knew much about it.
You thought you knew enough to commit an act that was outright mutiny.
I wanted to save the ship.
But responsible doctors found that the captain wasn't mentally ill, right?
They weren't there.
Isn't the reverse possible?
Isn't it possible that under pressure you became erratic...
and couldn't understand the captain's sound decision?
- It's possible... - Between a captain and his officer...
who is presumed by the navy to have better judgment in ship handing?
- The captain. - One last question.
If the diagnosis of expert doctors is correct...
then you're guilty as charged, aren't you?
Maybe so.
No more questions.
No further questions.
You may step down.
Take it easy. You've just seen the first act.
The finale's still to come.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
I assumed command of an extremely sloppy, badly handled ship.
I was determined to bring this ship in line.
Lieutenant Maryk opposed me from the very first.
Maybe he thought I was crazy to keep trying.
In your judgment, was your ship on the verge of foundering...
when the executive officer assumed command?
Well, as you know...
a typhoon is an extreme hazard at all times.
But the ship was riding well.
Lieutenant Maryk went into a panic and ran amuck.
He acted under the delusion that he alone could save the ship.
Ensign Keith... an unreliable and disloyal officer...
combined with him against me at this crucial time.
It was bad luck for them, really.
I bear them no malice. I'm extremely sorry for them.
No more questions.
A word of caution before you proceed with the examination.
The court recognizes that the defense is compelled to challenge...
the competence of Lieutenant Commander Queeg.
Nevertheless, the requirements of legal ethics...
and military respect remain in force.
Thank you.
Mr. Queeg, during a period when the Caine was towing targets...
did you ever steam over your own towline and cut it?
Objection. I beg the court's indulgence.
The defense outrages the dignity of this proceeding.
The judge advocate wants the defense to switch to a guilty plea.
He thinks the report of the psychiatrist closes the case.
But it is up to you line naval officers, not doctors...
to judge the captain's performance of duty.
I must review that performance for the navy to render a judgment.
Objection overruled.
Now, sir. Did you ever steam over your own towline and cut it?
Well, I for one am happy to dispose of this particular slander.
While we were towing the target, I noticed antiaircraft bursts close.
Naturally, I turned to avoid them.
And you continued to turn in a full circle.
My unreliable helmsman failed to warn me we were coming around 360 degrees.
I caught it in time and instantly reversed course.
To the best of my knowledge, we didn't steam over the towline.
I see.
Besides the antiaircraft bursts, did nothing else distract you?
Not that I recall.
Weren't you engaged in reprimanding a seaman named Dlugatch, at length...
for having his shirttail out, while the ship turned 360 degrees?
I reprimanded him, but that only took two seconds.
When the Caine escorted attack boats of marines to the beach...
did your orders include dropping a yellow dye-marker?
I don't recall.
Did you drop one?
I don't recall.
Didn't you steam several hundred yards ahead of the attack boats...
drop a dye-marker and retire at high speed...
leaving the boats to make the beach on their own?
The question is abusive and flagrantly leading.
There can be no more serious a charge to an officer than cowardice under fire.
May I make one thing clear?
It is not the defense's contention that Commander Queeg is a coward.
Quite the contrary.
The defense assumes no man who rises to command a naval ship can be a coward.
And therefore, if he commits questionable acts under fire...
the explanation must be elsewhere.
You may resume.
You seem to be the victim of constantly disloyal officers.
Now, I didn't say that! Only some of them were disloyal.
- Mr. Keith and Mr. Maryk, for instance? - Yes.
Mr. Queeg, this is a fitness report you wrote on Mr. Maryk.
July 1, 1944, one month before he relieved you.
Do you recognize it?
I do.
Would you mind reading your comments on Mr. Maryk?
I don't believe the court can hear you.
"This officer's improved since his last report.
He's consistently loyal, courageous, thorough and efficient.
He's recommended for transfer to the regular navy." I'd like to say that...
Thank you.
Did you ever turn your ship upside-down in search of a key that didn't exist?
I don't know what lies have been sworn to in this court.
I'd like to set you straight here and now! A key did exist!
The witness is understandably agitated by this ordeal.
- I request a recess to give him... - I don't want a recess!
I'll answer all questions right here and now.
- Did you conduct such a search? - Yes, I did.
As usual, my disloyal officers failed me, and the key couldn't be found.
In fact, wasn't this whole fuss over a quart of strawberries?
Pilfering food, in large amounts or small...
is one of the most serious occurrences on board ship.
Didn't you learn the mess boys ate the strawberries...
and your search was for an imaginary key?
I repeat! The key was not imaginary!
And I don't know anything about mess boys eating strawberries.
Have you no recollection of a conversation with Ensign Harding...
just prior to his leaving the Caine?
- What about it? - Didn't he tell you they ate them?
All that I remember is that he was very grateful for his transfer.
His wife was ill in the states.
Do you know where Ensign Harding is now?
I have no way of knowing.
Ensign Harding is in San Diego. His wife has fully recovered.
He's been summoned and can be flown up here in three hours, if necessary.
Would it serve any useful purpose to have him testify?
No, I...
I don't see any need of that.
Now that I recall...
he might have said something about mess boys, and he might not.
I questioned so many men, and Harding was not the most reliable officer.
I'm afraid the defense has no other recourse than to produce Ensign Harding.
There's no need for that!
He'll just tell you lies!
He was no different from any officer in the wardroom. They were all disloyal!
I tried to run the ship by the book, but they fought me at every turn.
If the crew wanted to walk around with shirttails hanging out, let them!
Take the towline... defective equipment, no more, no less.
But they encouraged the crew to go around spreading wild rumors...
about steaming in circles and then "Old Yellowstain."
I was to blame for Lieutenant Maryk's incompetence and poor seamanship.
Lieutenant Maryk was the perfect officer, but not Captain Queeg.
But the strawberries! That's where I had them.
They laughed at me and made jokes.
But I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt and with geometric logic...
that a duplicate key to the icebox did exist.
I'd have produced that key if they hadn't pulled the Caine out of action!
I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officer...
Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory.
If I've left anything out...
just ask me specific questions...
and I'll be glad to answer them...
one by one.
No further questions, sir.
The court is closed.
For he's a jolly good fellow
That nobody can deny
No, baby. There are no girls here.
Just the officers of the Caine.
What, darling?
Steve, make 'em pipe down, will you?
Knock it off, fellows! Old Willie's talking to his girl.
- Hi, Tom! - Hello, Rabbit. How are you?
Hello, Jim.
Hello, Tom.
I didn't think you'd have the guts to come around.
I didn't have the guts not to.
I wanna thank you for not telling the fellows about what happened.
I'm delighted at how things turned out.
Stow it. It's over and done with.
Yeah.
You can take a plane tonight.
I'm getting a new ship and skipper, but we'll have time to get married!
We'll let my mother know afterwards.
Please, May.
I love you, darling!
Good-bye, sweetheart.
Steve, Tom! That was May.
We're...
Well, well!
The officers of the Caine in happy celebration.
What are you, Barney? Kind of tight?
Sure. I got a guilty conscience.
I defended you, Steve, because I found the wrong man was on trial.
So I torpedoed Queeg for you.
I had to torpedo him.
And I feel sick about it.
Okay, take it easy.
You know, when I was studying law...
and Mr. Keefer was writing his stories...
and you, Willie, were tearing up the playing fields of Princeton...
who was standing guard over this fat, dumb, happy country of ours?
Not us. Oh, no! We knew you couldn't make any money in the service.
So who did the dirty work for us? Queeg did!
And other guys... tough, sharp guys who didn't crack up like Queeg.
No matter what, he endangered the ship and the lives of the men.
He didn't endanger anybody! You did! All of you!
You're a fine bunch of officers.
You said yourself he cracked.
I'm glad you brought that up, because that's a very pretty point.
I left out one detail in the court-martial.
It wouldn't have helped our case any.
After the Yellowstain business, Queeg asked for help...
and you turned him down, didn't you?
Yes.
You didn't approve of his conduct. He wasn't worthy of your loyalty.
So you turned on him. You ragged him. You made up songs about him.
If you'd given Queeg the loyalty he needed...
would the whole issue have come up in the typhoon?
You're an honest man, Steve. I'm asking you.
Would it have been necessary for you to take over?
It probably wouldn't have been necessary.
If that's true, then we were guilty.
You're learning, Willie!
You don't work with a captain because you like the way he parts his hair.
You work with him because he's got the job or you're no good!
Well, the case is over. You're all safe.
It was like shooting fish in a barrel.
Now we come to the man who should have stood trial.
The Caine's favorite author.
The Shakespeare who's testimony nearly sunk us all.
- Tell 'em, Keefer. - You go ahead. You're telling it better.
You ought to read his testimony. He never even heard of Captain Queeg!
Forget it.
Queeg was sick. He couldn't help himself.
But you... you're real healthy.
Only you didn't have one-tenth the guts he had.
Except, I never fooled myself.
I'm going to drink a toast to you, Mr. Keefer.
From the beginning, you hated the navy...
and then you thought of this whole idea.
You managed to keep your skirts starched and clean, even in the court-martial.
Maryk will always be remembered as a mutineer.
But you'll publish your novel. You'll make a million bucks.
You'll marry a big movie star.
And for the rest of your life you'll live with your conscience.
If you have any.
Here's to the real author of the Caine mutiny.
Here's to you, Mr. Keefer.
If you wanna do anything about it, I'll be outside.
I'm a lot drunker than you are, so it'll be a fair fight.
- Good-bye, darling. - Good-bye, Willie.
Attention on deck!
- Keith? - Yes, sir?
Take her out.
Aye, aye, sir.
Single up all lines!
Stand by to cast off.